When you are a creative, a visionary and the one who seeks to express yourself in a more colorful way….it often brings about moments of beauty mixed with agony that only those who understand this life can fully grasp.
We live in a visually saturated world these days. The glory of Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook have somehow put all of us in a silent competition. We don’t think we are competing…but we are. It’s there.
The minute the mama who’s sweetie declared they wanted a Princess Party hops on Pinterest, the defeat starts to set in.
I’ve done it.
I’ve looked at the piles of pins and google images and thought, “I can’t compare to this.”
Which, when translated… it really means, ” I can’t compare to them.”
Well, as I sit here after a 16 hour day of creating, my hands are covered in blisters from boiling hot caramel and the neon cupcake sprinkles are glittering from beneath my fingernails….I’m finding myself searching my soul for the reason I put myself through this. What on earth would make me so crazy that I would literally leap over laundry piles as high as my kitchen table and grab my piping bag of frosting before I’d even consider putting a pair of underwear away?
I create because I have to.
I create because I need to.
I create because it is what my spirit was called to this life to do.
I create because if I don’t, I start to feel pale and lost and alone.
I create because when I do I feel like I’m bringing to life a little sweet story that was living inside my head and begging to be set free.
I create because it is who I am.
You see, I’ve been rocking this creative gig long before social media existed and we had any platforms to “brag.” Ever since my piece of bubble art was voted: “Most Creative” in 2nd grade, I’ve known what my purpose was. I’m lucky that during my childhood, the people in my life spoke faithful words of encouragement toward my talent. I may have been an “average student” but I was creative. I may have been a disrespectful teenager, but I was creative. I may have been a wild 20-something girl stumbling, fumbling and making horrible life choices at the time, but I was creative.
It’s been my life line, my place of peace during the storm. My creativity has often times been my treasure map back to my soul after much wandering and misguided mistakes. I keep it safely tucked within me and call upon it during times when I’m in need of my truth.
When Jon lost his job, the world was snatched from me…..and everything I knew and who I thought I was supposed to be came crumbling down….I dove head first into my creativity for no other reason than needing to remember who I was. I craved something safe and familiar to cling to.
It is my home.
If you are invited to one of my daughter’s birthday parties and you feel my event design may be a little “over the top” I can promise you with all my heart my intent is never to make you feel bad.
If you see me marching around town with my tiny tots and we are doing a styled photo shoot on the sidewalk in front of the hardware store, I swear I’m not trying to look cool.
If you come over and you notice I have a whole newly painted/renovated office, I can assure you I’m not trying to be extra fancy.
When I’m up until 2am hot gluing mini fairy princess wands to the outsides of favor boxes, when I’m dressing my girls up in matching rompers to photograph them, and when I’m inspired to grab a bucket of paint and totally re-do which ever room in my house is boring me…. that is when I’m in my deepest connection zone with God and my spirit. That is when time stops for me and I’m completely surrendering to the gift I was given to share while on this earth. It’s when I’m the most authentic. It’s when I’m the most natural. I often feel like I’m not even in my body during those times, I am so close to heaven I can almost taste it.
And I’m not even thinking about anyone else on the earth.
My deepest hope would be that you feel the same as you embrace your gifts. Let’s all link arms and glide through this world together while we all shine the light on each others talents. Can we stop the comparing? I promise to try if you do.
Because we are all gifted in such drastically different and beautiful ways.
I marvel at the nurse who can inject an IV into my arm with such ease and precision. I would faint on the floor at the sight of a needle.
I respect the teacher who stays up 4 hours past their bedtime just to finish a remarkable lesson they created for their class. I can’t begin to understand the dedication teachers exhibit.
I stand in awe at the mom who stays home with her 4 kids and they are all so well behaved and polite and sweet. I often feel like if candy didn’t exist, and I had no bribing tools, mine would be stealing my car and headed for the state border!
I applaud and appreciate all of your gifts. Each one of us has been blessed with them. Your real job is to find out what makes your heart sing and grab a hold of that baby and ride it into the sunset.
And I can promise you this with my whole heart: I’ll be the girl standing there with tears in my eyes as I watch you fly. I will be the girl clapping and fist pumping right behind you as you take new risks, step into your truth, embrace your talents and continue to grow into the person you were meant to be.
As long as you promise to do the same for me.